In the back

As if I had spoken too soon, it would appear the dagger has fallen and struck me square in the spine. Robbie has informed the band that he doesn't have the time in his life to devote to the band. He has agreed to play the February 26th show, but he is gone after that. There are talks amongst Noah and myself that perhaps we too will break away from the band when Robbie leaves. I am beginning to accept what everyone tells me. It would seem that people either respect what I do, or just want to try to play to my vanity- but I can no longer count how many times I have been told that my skills surpass the current band. It seems that every day that goes by someone who hears Noah and myself play tell us that we need to abdicate far from this band that is "dragged down by Alex and Shane." February is going to bring some very intresting bumps for me it would seem. I go to the Valley for February 10th and 11th for my fathers 61st. They will for the first time see the pisces mark on my forearm. Little do they know that I am scheduled to get a big, expensive, left shoulder piece on February 12th. Then, this all coupled with the show and then the parting of ways with Robbie. I don't claim to be a psychic, but the forseeable future is looking bleak for now. But what if I approach it as a sort of rebirth? Maybe I can use this as a chance to recognize my 'holy gift' and step through this shadow of my soon to be former self? No matter what happens I will not quit! I have people who support me, and I am proud to have them around me.
Some poetry for you all:

A groan of tedium escapes me
Startling, fearfull
Is this a test?
It has to be, otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, claimed vitality
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out. Gonna wait it out. Be patient.

If there were no rewards to reap
No loving embrace to see me through this tedius path I have chosen here
I certainly would have walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal.
The damaged and broken met along
This tedius path I've chosen here
I certainly would have walked away by now.

Be patient
I must keep reminding myself of this.
-"The Patient"- Maynard James Keenan.

Well. That is all for now. Peace. Out.
-CDB